24/7 Email, Business-based Self-worth, and the Future of the World with New Technology
When I got up this AM, I checked my Email and BOTH clients had already replied, the first at 2:10 AM and the second at 2:55 AM! At the risk of sounding old, I'm sitting here shaking my head saying, "What's this world coming to?"
In the past (5-10 years ago), I was the one person I knew who worked crazy hours, deprived myself of sleep (and health in general) for the sake of business, and really attached my self-worth to the results of my business. In fact, I remember having taken pride at my "dedication" when others would be astounded by my ridiculous hours.
Don't get me wrong - I'm all for high-production, high-innovation, and a get-the-job-done focus. But I wonder what will happen in the world, when it becomes the norm to check your Email at 3:00 AM! In fact, I wonder how people are doing it? Are they staying up until that hour? Not sleeping at all? Or do they take their Blackberries or Email-based PDAs to bed with them??
As I grew older, I realized that I had to reprioritize my life, or I'd end up dead at 35. I did this by assessing EXACTLY what was important to me (clearly understanding/defining my core values). Business should have been just a means to an end, but instead it was the end, itself. This was because I turned to business to satisfy my emotional needs for acceptance, self-worth, and value to the world. I learned that there's a problem with doing this when you make work the ONLY place to turn for these things. In fact, I had taken it so far, that I was on 3 non-profit boards to try to get even more of what I was desperately seeking.
There is a big problem with this thinking, however: Until a person learns to be "ok" with himself first, he'll search all over for what he thinks he needs to be "ok". Unfortunately, he won't find it anywhere else. He'll find things that look like it, feel like it, and even temporarily fill the need for a while. But none of these will last. He has to learn to become INTERNALLY motivated, otherwise he will become a people-pleaser, doomed to feeling sadness by misinterpreting everyone else's behavior as critical or demeaning to him. This isn't fair to him or the other people and certainly is no way to live a joyful life.
By being "ok" with himself, he is able to be confident of his own decisions, actions, and beliefs while being open to learning and growing from other people. Ironically, by deriving self-worth only from others (EXTERNALLY motivated), he will become a barrier to learning and growing he is so desperately trying to receive. In addition, he ends up using and manipulating others to get what he wants, rather than accepting and embracing others as they are.
Now, I'm working at having a much more balanced life which includes my family time, time with just my wife, time with just my daughter, and my SELF time. I'm happier, and MUCH more productive than ever, because I AM more balanced now. I've implemented Getting Things Done by David Allen, which is a set of tools for helping people become highly efficient and effective in their task management. By doing this, I added structure to my balance and armed myself with techniques I use to manage myself when I get pulled in 50 different directions.
It's a constant struggle, however, to achieve balance. I so often "fall off" and have to "get back on again," but that's fine with me because I'm learning and growing through the process.
I must also add that I wasn't able to do this on my own - I had help from my business coach, Greg Balanko-Dickson, and numerous books, including The Four Agreements, Good to Great, Jump Start Your Business Brain, Getting Things Done, Boundaries, The 9 Things a Leader Must Do, The Secret (DVD), The Art of Possibility, and The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent. I highly recommend all of these books.
My larger concern is that as we "progress" with the benefits of technology, we may be leaving behind some things that we really need, and creating new problems for ourselves. I wonder if there really is a true net benefit to the individual, the family, and the business.
I'd really enjoy hearing your thoughts regarding 24-hour Email, business-based self-worth, and the future of the world with new technology. If you have a moment, just comment on this blog entry.

I had read the book a few years ago and had forgotten most of it, but this 43folders podcast reminded me that perhaps I should get back on the wagon.
Another key I've been toying with is a mastermind group.
"Freedom and power come from knowing what you want without being a prisoner to what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale in Spiritual Marketing
As far as the 24/7 responding to emails and the ubiquitous intrusion into our lives that the WWW offers - I believe that we will see a return to traditional values of times past.
Look at the appropriateness of this quote from a book written 100 years ago...
“Man is a magnet, and every line and dot and detail of his experiences come by his own attraction.” - The Life Power and How To Use It, by Elizabeth Towne, 1906
We create and become what we think about most and therefore as business owners and executives we will be working those hours *unless* we can reconnect with our heart, mind, and soul as Dr. Henry Cloud puts it in "9 Things a Leader Must Do".
Too often we live in quiet denial of our need to reconnect - to live with 'integrity' - to be more conscious and 'present'.
Joe Vitale says "We create our lives out of our perceptions. Our perceptions become a magnet that pull us in the direction of where we want to go." and as Carl Jung so eloquently puts it: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Internally, we need to cultivate the ability to discern when we are acting consciously and unconsciously - to make sure that we do not fall into the trap of living on life on 'automatic pilot'.
Ken, congratulations, as your coach I can say that it has been a pleasure to watch you grow, develop, and become more conscious and intentional. Keep it up.
Three cheers!
Excellent podcast yesterday! I found the following ideas interesting:
- Freedom comes from being able to pursue something while you're walking away from it simultaneously (Respectful disconnect)
- Can't be owned by your singularity of focus
- The business owner came first
- Make the business work for you
Great news on your next book being published!
Ken.
Others play to make cool words. He said that I was one of those players who played for the cool words.
I think the same thought can apply to running a business. Are you in it to win or are you in it to do cool things?
I often have clients ask me to meet with them on a weekend and/or after close of business. I never blatantly refuse, I just offer alternate times during "standard business hours". I've only had one client have a problem with this, and we "met in the middle" meeting at the very end of the business day.
That said, I'll often check and respond to e-mail at "all hours". But, I always try to get in 8 hours of sleep, and am in a semi-routine schedule of sleep vs awake.
Back in my college days, I inadvertently stumbled onto something that worked really well. I'd work hard 6 days a week, but take one day for relaxation (At the time that meant playing computer games).
I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a wonderful system.
I've made it a point recently to focus further on balance, and have re-enstated my "one day off a week rule". I keep the computer off during that "off day" and do other stuff. I'm trying to take over the sixth day for personal development projects which may require the computer.
I just added all the books you mentioned to my amazon wishlist, maybe over time I'll actually pick some up and get a chance to read a few.
Hold on a second, my beeper is vibrating.